Repost in honor of MDW. Written March of 2020 about my grandfather, Skip Handorf.

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How often do we experience things for the first time? Furthermore, how often is that “first time” the result of a different intention?

That happened to me recently at my Poppy Skip’s grave. A place I hadn’t visited since a chilly January morning in 2006. The day we laid him to rest.

My grandfather was a passionate man. He was a proud family man, a fierce Marine, and a remarkable storyteller. He loved his family, his business, and, the opportunity to live each day with an appreciation for life. 

He knew what he wanted and he took it. Mind you, this is the man who said “if I want almonds, I’ll eat an almond. If I want milk, I’ll drink milk. Why the hell would I drink almond milk?”

So while I set-out on a mission to thank him for his service, I selfishly left with a memory soon not forgot. My first Makers Mark with Poppy Skip…

Pop, cheers to the family name you built and the sacrifices you gave, including serving our country.

NH.

P.S. Poppy Skip taught me more than a few lessons… “I See Better Than I Hear”

I am trying something new in 2023. I am doing an “uncomfort” challenge each month.

Why? I view these “challenges” as experiments with my comfort zone and/or existing habits.

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To start the year, I decided to not drink alcohol for 21-days.

Alcohol has been a part of my life since I started college. Back then, my immature taste buds salivated for a cheap beer, and over time evolved to appreciate a high-end wine or a tough to find bourbon.

It is important to note that my relationship with alcohol has never been unhealthy. It has simply been a consistent presence amongst friends on the weekends or shared over a nice dinner.

So, as I wrap-up the “challenge,” what did I learn? Below are a few reflections:

• Friday, at 5:15 PM is by far the most desirable time for a beer… which, I think makes sense. Dating back to my time in college, the first beer on a Friday signaled a transition from the grind of a school week to the freedom of a weekend. Fast forward, ten years and that “reward” has become hardwired.
• How to fill my time on the weekend evenings? That became a serious question. Instead of socializing with friends at the local pub, I quickly realized that it is easy to fill time with the latest Netflix series…. I would argue an actual worse use of time.
• My hypothesis was that I would sleep better and therefore feel better. In reality, I would say that is only half true. Yes, alcohol has an impact on sleep but there were still multiple nights where I stayed up to late. And, my energy lagged from there.
• 21-days is an incredibly short amount of time. It may not be enough to create massive change, however, it is enough time to create space for reflection about the habit.

Nothing radical, but I’m glad I did it. The time created space to reset and simply get my mind right to kick-off 2023. With that being said, I think it is time for a beer.

Cheers. NH.

I’d never been on more than a boogie board, yet there I was staring into the Pacific Ocean. My body choked by a wetsuit and my arms fighting the wind to hold onto the eight-foot board.

A friend had volunteered to teach me to surf.

Eager to start, I took a step towards the crashing waves. “Stop. Turn around. The lesson starts on the beach.” What followed were the fundamentals of surfing:

• First, wade out into the water and attempt to ride a wave like a boogie board,
• Second, do they same but center my hands on the board (and never touch the rails again),
• Third, attempt to pop-up into a standing position (and fall over and over again),
• And finally, pop-up then ride a (very, very small) wave.

The elementary pace included a return to the sand between each lesson. A chance to catch my breath, shake out the cool saltwater, and prepare for the next step. Each break also came with a recurring mantra… “Don’t rush to failure.”

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The mantra has stuck with me long after that surf lesson.

Whether a potential deal at work or a sale at the local store, there is a natural urge to rush into the opportunity. I mean, it may never ever come back again, right?

Maybe not. Maybe the right approach is to step back and focus on the fundamentals.

What is the basic need? When is it needed? And, what is the logical next step?

These fundamentals can lay the foundation to resist an arbitrary deadline or a rushed decision. AKA, what I would call unnecessary stress (…. and people already have enough of that).

NH.

P.S. I realize some things just need done ASAP, this is more so an indictment on arbitrary deadlines 🙂

What a year.

I married the love of my life, traveled more than ever, pivoted my career path, and fostered many friendships. I have much to be grateful for.

As 2022 comes to a close, I reflected on the year. I had numerous wins and countless lessons learned. The wins are always to be celebrated, but the lessons generate growth. Below are 22 of my lessons learned from 2022:

1. Planning a wedding will be one of the best experiences of your life. It can also be one of the most stressful if you let it.
2. Poor sleep equals poor quality of life.
3. Know when you are out-of-your-depth… then be willing to ask for help.
4. Be very careful with goal setting. Focus on systems to achieve the goal versus the goal itself.
5. I spent time in 15 major US cities during 2022 and there is still no other place that I would rather live than Chicago.
6. There always will be value with in-person work. Especially, when it comes to building a team and maintaining a culture.
7. The best meals are those with the most simple ingredients.
8. Band of Brothers is the best show on TV, though Peaky Blinders remains a close second.
9. The location of a bachelor party doesn’t matter. The people are what matter and they will ensure it is a hell of a time where ever it may be.
10. The written word is powerful. Use it as a tool to say thank you.
11. You don’t have to read every book or watch every show that someone recommends… there isn’t enough time in the day (conversely, be mindful of someone’s time when you recommend anything).
12. I gave up caffeine for a month. It was an admirable experiment; but, I am a much better person on caffeine.
13. The Amalfi Coast is as beautiful as a postcard, though its true beauty comes from its people and cuisine.
14. Are you getting married? Divide your planned goals by half. The wedding will consume most of your free time.
15. Every place has something worth seeing… you just have to look close enough.
16. A long walk on a Saturday morning is the best way to reset a busy mind.
17. Death is never easy. But, it is important to think about death as a reminder to live…. to focus on what truly matters.
18. Don’t succumb to fomo when it comes to investing… it may just save you significant $$$s.
19. Foundational mental models and disciplined thinking translate across industries (whether banking or healthcare).
20. When in Rome, cappuccinos are to be drank in the morning (or people will look at you funny).
21. Know what must be great, what can be good, or what can be just ok… this will save you a lot of time.
22. Be willing to share your lessons learned, it may just help someone else.

✌️, 2022. Cheers.

NH.

“Don’t tell my wife what your favorite animal is,” he explained. I was perplexed to say the least, but he continued, “she is a veterinarian. Whenever she meets someone new, their immediate reaction is to tell her about their fluffy pup or childhood cat…”

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It is natural to seek common ground when meeting new people. To try to relate and form a connection.

However, I’ll go out on a limb here… the doctor doesn’t want to hear about your dad’s injured hip, nor does lawyer about your son’s bullshit speeding ticket.

I mean, what is your job? Do you prefer to have someone seek consultation over a social dinner? Probably not. Like you, other people want to enjoy a social conversation about life, family, favorite holiday recipes, or whatever. You get the point.

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So, the next time that you meet someone new… consider the advice that I received. It may just make that first impression that you aimed for.

NH.

P.S. You bet that I showed her a picture of my pup 🙂

Repost in honor of MDW. Written March of 2020 about my grandfather, Skip Handorf.

_____________________________________________________

How often do we experience things for the first time? Furthermore, how often is that “first time” the result of a different intention?

That happened to me recently at my Poppy Skip’s grave. A place I hadn’t visited since a chilly January morning in 2006. The day we laid him to rest.

My grandfather was a passionate man. He was a proud family man, a fierce Marine, and a remarkable storyteller. He loved his family, his business, and, the opportunity to live each day with an appreciation for life. 

He knew what he wanted and he took it. Mind you, this is the man who said “if I want almonds, I’ll eat an almond. If I want milk, I’ll drink milk. Why the hell would I drink almond milk?”

So while I set-out on a mission to thank him at his resting place, I selfishly left with a memory soon not forgot. My first Makers Mark with Poppy Skip…

Pop, cheers to the family name you built and the sacrifices you gave, including serving our country.

NH.

P.S. Poppy Skip taught me more than a few lessons… “I See Better Than I Hear”